i did everything i could to ruin the relationship,because the thought of him ever leaving me killed me.it didnt cross my mind at that time that the pain would be more excruciating when i lost him for reasons that weren't even true,reasons i created to protect myself.
but it's done,and he's gone,and i've learned to swallow the regret.
To be alive and grow is to experience the myriad of emotions, whether good, bad or ugly. Not being prissy, but if someone doesn't want to go, whatever you do, they won't; and if it yours they come back like a labrador retriever time and time again until something better comes along to capture that attention.
Not sure if it makes lots of sense but it does to me, at least in my own experience.
letting go can be a gain/loss... if u move on... it'll be a gain... if u keep holding on, then you'll be lost. see.. ellie swallowed the regret, moved on and found her sweetie yulius...
ric: u cat cat lah!
jc: i know wat u mean. so, do we all have to wait everytime something catches the labrador's attention? tis a bit tiring having to settle for a sidekick everytime something catches their attention rite? :oP
like i said, in some ways. we define our gains and losses on our own, one's gain is anothers loss. i know we're all humans, made up of the same particals but we're individually apples and oranges on the inside.
it's sad to think of the situation being so blatantly cruel,yet i do have friends who are just hanging onto their partners until someone better comes along.and some just claim they're too lazy to begin a new relationship,so might as well stick to the one you've grown accustomed to.
but i guess when it's that someone special,it's harder to decline even such a heartbreaking chance to be with him/her.when i met yulius,he was with another girl. that girl happened to two-time him,and yulius was hurt,but wanted to keep it going.i just so happened to be the one he fell back on.could've been anyone else, but i was the one who sat by him even though it fucking hurt me.i'm that second best...but that's fine with me,because i love him.and he loves me more than i will ever know.
Me, being a cinapek and traditionalist would always favor a slow burn vs. hot & heavy because this way, emotions, love, feelings that brew longest stays longest...so even if you think you second best, in the end, this sort of relationship last longer as both parties get to appreciate the inherent qualities once the steamy parts ebb. Like making stews and soups-boil longer more "yap mei"; like my Bak Kut Teh, taste better next day!!! Sorry, to indulge in food talk again..and thanks for allowing me drop my 1 cents now and then.
i lost someone and thought that we werent meant to be. least did i expect he had met someone else and is now married to her. well, somethings arent meant to be. shldve let him go first to prevent the heartache--like you said.
anonymous... there's always a silver lining behind every cloud... things happens for a reason. if we didn't go through some of the things we did... we might not treasure wat we have now or grow to see wat is...
14 comments:
'letting go' is a lost too, in some ways
i did everything i could to ruin the relationship,because the thought of him ever leaving me killed me.it didnt cross my mind at that time that the pain would be more excruciating when i lost him for reasons that weren't even true,reasons i created to protect myself.
but it's done,and he's gone,and i've learned to swallow the regret.
To be alive and grow is to experience the myriad of emotions, whether good, bad or ugly. Not being prissy, but if someone doesn't want to go, whatever you do, they won't; and if it yours they come back like a labrador retriever time and time again until something better comes along to capture that attention.
Not sure if it makes lots of sense but it does to me, at least in my own experience.
letting go can be a gain/loss... if u move on... it'll be a gain... if u keep holding on, then you'll be lost. see.. ellie swallowed the regret, moved on and found her sweetie yulius...
ric: u cat cat lah!
jc: i know wat u mean. so, do we all have to wait everytime something catches the labrador's attention? tis a bit tiring having to settle for a sidekick everytime something catches their attention rite? :oP
like i said, in some ways. we define our gains and losses on our own, one's gain is anothers loss. i know we're all humans, made up of the same particals but we're individually apples and oranges on the inside.
interesting Labrador theory...
it's sad to think of the situation being so blatantly cruel,yet i do have friends who are just hanging onto their partners until someone better comes along.and some just claim they're too lazy to begin a new relationship,so might as well stick to the one you've grown accustomed to.
but i guess when it's that someone special,it's harder to decline even such a heartbreaking chance to be with him/her.when i met yulius,he was with another girl. that girl happened to two-time him,and yulius was hurt,but wanted to keep it going.i just so happened to be the one he fell back on.could've been anyone else, but i was the one who sat by him even though it fucking hurt me.i'm that second best...but that's fine with me,because i love him.and he loves me more than i will ever know.
ellie... i know how f**king bad it hurts... but am glad everything worked out ok for u :o)
life's a pain. there are no short cuts, no easy ways out. some people call it fate, others call it endless semantecs.
Me, being a cinapek and traditionalist would always favor a slow burn vs. hot & heavy because this way, emotions, love, feelings that brew longest stays longest...so even if you think you second best, in the end, this sort of relationship last longer as both parties get to appreciate the inherent qualities once the steamy parts ebb. Like making stews and soups-boil longer more "yap mei"; like my Bak Kut Teh, taste better next day!!! Sorry, to indulge in food talk again..and thanks for allowing me drop my 1 cents now and then.
sometimes letting go is best,if you know it isn't worth to hold on...i know it's easier said than done.
wahhhhhh...a one word comment from martin & it isn't GRASS!!!
thanks for all ur comments. everyone has a right to their own perspective and its nice to hear from all.
don't worry... i am fine :o)
i lost someone and thought that we werent meant to be. least did i expect he had met someone else and is now married to her. well, somethings arent meant to be. shldve let him go first to prevent the heartache--like you said.
anonymous... there's always a silver lining behind every cloud... things happens for a reason. if we didn't go through some of the things we did... we might not treasure wat we have now or grow to see wat is...
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